I feel I must interject here...

Ok I have been a reclusive silly homeboy for the past year or so, which is even sillier considering I moved to near the drive just this past August. I have lame issues when it comes to getting off my ass and being sociable, doing things, meeting people, when I'm not with my boyfriend and his friends. Lame, yes.

I know there is stuff that goes on in this city that is really fucking cool. I want to get out and meet people, get into the local scene again (last time I went to a punk house show was probably in 2002), meet local people, and start to get really fucking hip and pretentious like so many scenesters are (fuck, yes). I want to meet cyber punkers and techno kids, multi media addicts, electronic music creaters, modern day poets, geeks, dorks, quiet people who like to stay in the background, and the guy who walks into the room and everyone knows at all the local shows.

I NEED NEED NEED... someone who will go with me to this stuff, someone who will msn me or call me day of and kick my ass and arrange times to meet and who will realise that I am totally cool but just really weird about leaving my house.

I don't know what it is, I have this issue with being alone with myself in the outside world, and I'm not even sure what the issue is, it's not any real fear or anxiety I can put my finger on. I go out and spend time with myself, and I actually enjoy myself the time that I am able to do it, like tonight, walking in the dark under a black and sparkling sky, drinking my peppermint mocha and listening to Noam Chomsky on my discman. It was great and wonderful, but it will take me hours of sitting at home and talking myself into it to get up the courage to do it again anytime soon.